sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
