Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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