Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
