I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
