we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
