no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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