stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
