I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
