:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
