can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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