so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
