I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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