I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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