Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
