Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
