Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
