a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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