Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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