My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm passing your future prison.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
