If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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