hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
