You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
