She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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