I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
