in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
