just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
