Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
