i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
