Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
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