Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
