do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
