About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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