i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
