WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
