I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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