maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
