sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
