It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
