he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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