Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
