Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
