Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
