I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Randomize