I accidentally had phone sex last night
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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