She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
