the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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