After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
