Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
