11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
