yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
