And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
