I faked an abortion last night.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
