what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
