We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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