Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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