Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
